Mentors

Mentors. Not everyone is lucky enough to have them. How you find each other can at first seem like an archeological dig, but as only decades can sometimes tell, it is worth the effort.

Navy Blue suit. Check. White blouse. Check. Bow tie. Check. (In the 80s that was the style for women lawyers and had John Molloy’s stamp of approval). Looked like I was 14. Check. (No fake scholarly glasses yet to make me look older so I had to just go with how I looked, which was 14). Almost fresh out of law school—one year of experience—set to walk into an interview with a boutique management labor and employment law firm.

Ushered into a dark wood paneled conference room where six stern looking older white men’s gazes met mine, I thought, ummm this is going to be fun. There was one seat left for me which happened to be at the head of the table. And so I sat. And answered their questions as they went around the table one by one.

The last partner to ask questions paused, leaned forward and asked, “Are you married?”

I responded, “Well, that question is in violation of Title VII and the Elliott Larsen Civil Rights Act so I’m not going to answer it.”

He said, “I know what the law is. But I had a lady lawyer that worked for me. And she got married, then she got pregnant. So, I need to know if you’re married and if you have any kids because I don’t want to lose any more money.”

I again responded, “It’s still in violation of the law and I’m still refusing to answer your questions.”

The interview continued just for a bit, but on my way out one of the other partners made things even worse. He tried to explain, “You’ll have to excuse Karl. He just went through a divorce and he’s looking for a date.” Without skipping a beat, I said, “Well, he might want to take out a personal ad in the Metro Times.”

Now, you would think with all of that, they would have said, “Forget this chick.” Or you would think that had they offered me the job, I wouldn’t have taken it. But offer it they did (maybe they thought If they didn’t, I would sue?) and take it I did (easier to deal with and educate blatant forms of discrimination versus subtle).

Within weeks of being hired, as I was walking into the library, Karl asked me out. I said no and told him I didn’t date people I worked with. He just kinda stared at me. I offered, “We can be friends.” Stare again. “Listen, I can’t handle the cases and make you money the way you want me to make you money if I am anything other than a friend to you.” And so it was.

Karl handed me cases and sent me to court. On my own. “Go do this.” Collection cases at first. I didn’t care. I was in court. I was thrilled. I actually had a bench warrant issued on one where the guy was pulled over on a speeding ticket, and he landed in jail. Yep. He paid. Karl handed me arbitrations and let me handle them. On my own. “Go do this.” He trusted me with his clients. He trusted me to go up against attorneys many years my senior. He trusted me to handle Michigan Supreme Court cases. He allowed me to gain the experience I needed without carrying his briefcase around, without being covetous of his clients and without worrying that I was going to screw something up. With each new case, my confidence grew. With each new case I learned not only about the substantive law but also about practical solutions. Karl was THE partner in the office most focused on practical solutions. How is the legal affecting the business? Are there other ways to approach the situation to reach a resolution? And I also learned about client relationships.

One day as we were walking down the street—and Karl was the kind of gentleman who always walked on the street side of a lady when you walked down the street—we started talking about clients. He had been in business for himself for many years prior to joining the firm where we both worked. He began ranting (which he was prone to do from time to time). But nestled in those rants were gems of knowledge. You just needed to be ready for them. To listen. To be aware. Not to be dismissive of the knowledge imparted simply because it was wrapped in a rant. “You kids are all alike. Coming out of law school. You don’t want to go out and get your own work. You just want someone to feed you work. You’re just dependent on someone else all the time.”

And I couldn’t get that thought out of my head. I didn’t want to be like all those other kids coming out of law school. I didn’t want to have someone else feed me work. I didn’t want to have to depend on someone else to feed me. Shortly thereafter I attended an American Bar Association, “Rainmaking for Women Lawyers Seminar.” Some partners called it a junket and required I submit a summary upon my return. It was okay. It only cemented what I learned even more. Women market differently than men. And then of course, I later opened my own firm.

Karl and I continued our friendship after I left the firm. He reviewed paperwork for the first home I purchased and later moved into with my then husband. We sailed Lake Saint Clair, shared Red Wings tickets, kept up with each other’s families, changes in the law, and changes in each other.

Karl Bennett, Jr. passed away a few weeks ago. It’s hard to put in perspective a 30 year friendship that began in a law firm conference room. The impact of its loss I have not yet allowed to fully reach me. What I am so very thankful for is that we took the time to understand each other’s perspectives. Along the way, I found an amazing mentor who trusted me with his work, believed in me and gave me a chance. Along the way, I found a diamond in the rough. RIP “KB”

Patricia Nemeth received her Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Michigan (Ann Arbor). She earned her Juris Doctorate and Masters of Labor Law degree from Wayne State University School of Law. She is the founding partner of Nemeth Law, P.C. which is celebrating its 25th Anniversary in 2017. Patricia decided to start a personal blog because she wanted to write about topics other than the law.